Debuting last week on Tuesday, August 11, 2009, the United States Postal Service made available for sale of 50 million 44-cent stamps, available in sheets of 20 individual designs, commemorating the “Golden Age of Television.” On that day last week there was a dedication ceremony in North Hollywood, hosted by TV legend Carl Reiner who is NOT commemorated on any of the stamps for the simple reason that he is still alive. As you may know, only the deceased may be commemorated on a U.S. Postage Stamp; but in fact you not only have to be dead to get on a stamp, but you have to have been dead for FIVE years. The Committee that oversees who gets to be on stamp won’t even consider someone for future commemoration until they’ve been 3 years deceased. Probably have to do some heavy background checking. It would be pretty embarrassing to have a guy put on a stamp only to discover a year later when someone publishes his biography, that “Holy Smokes he molested his kids!” or “WTF!? He had sex with sheep?!”
You definitely don’t want to be licking the backside of a guy on stamp who had sex with farm animals. Or any animals for that matter. Come to think of it, I’m not crazy about the idea of licking the backside of a stamp of anybody who sex with anybody.
Nevertheless, that rule got me thinking about these new TV stamps. Really? All those TV stars depicted have been dead for at least 5 years? Really? Where the Hell is the time going? I woke up this morning out of a dream in which I imagined they had Andy Griffith depicted on a stamp from “The Andy Griffith Show.” I woke up thinking, “Hey! Sheriff Andy’s still alive! He’s an old lawyer named Matlock now, but he’s still alive! Alert the USPS!” But of course after checking, I found that The Andy Griffith Show is NOT one of the TV shows commemorated. Thanks for nothing stupid dream!
The one exception though to the five-year restriction is in the case of a deceased U.S. President in which case, he (or she) may be honored one year after their death. That investigative committee better switch into high gear because one year is not a whole lot of time to uncover a lot of shady dealings.
Anyway, these TV stamps were designed by art director Carl T. Herrman of Las Vegas, and joining emcee Carl Reiner at the ceremony were several spouses and descendants and co-stars of some of the performers commemorated. Jayne Meadows for instance, the wife of Tonight Show host Steve Allen was there, Ozzie and Harriet Nelson’s grandkids were there, and… oh what’s this….one of the stars depicted on one of the stamps was there! In person! Alive! Stop the Presses! Call the Postal Police! Somebody get postal on this violation of the rules!! WTF?
Okay okay, you’re way ahead of me. It was Lassie. Hah hah. Yes, Lassie was there, or the 10th generation of Lassie as it turns out. He’s on one of the stamps, and June Lockhart who starred with Lassie on the show was at the ceremony too. Unfortunately, poor June is still alive and thus wasn’t allowed to be depicted on the stamp with Lassie. Howdy Doody has a stamp too, but Buffalo Bob Smith isn’t depicted alongside him! Why? Bob Smith’s been dead since 1998–why couldn’t they put him on the stamp next to Howdy Doody? How the Hell are we supposed to believe that freckled little puppet is standing up by himself? This isn’t a Twilight Zone stamp after all! Which by the way is also commemorated on a stamp with a big close-up of Rod Serling (deceased in 1975). I would like to have seen a shot of that episode where William Shatner is on the airplane and sees the creepy gremlin on the wing tearing it up! That was great. That shocking revelation where Shatner pulls back the window curtain and BAM! Big frightening close-up of the scary looking creature peering in at Shatner!! Why couldn’t they put that weird looking face on a stamp? Or maybe even the creature’s face? Hah hah. But Shatner’s still alive so that’s a no-go. He looks dead I know, but I just saw him on TV the other day and he was definitely walking and talking.
So then, what are the 20 TV shows depicted? They are: Adventures of Ozzie & Harriet; Alfred Hitchcock Presents; The Dinah Shore Show; Dragnet; The Ed Sullivan Show; The George Burns & Gracie Allen Show; Hopalong Cassidy; The Honeymooners; Howdy Doody; I Love Lucy; Kukla, Fran and Ollie; Lassie; The Lone Ranger; Perry Mason; The Phil Silvers Show; The Red Skelton Show; Texaco Star Theater; The Tonight Show; The Twilight Zone; and, You Bet Your Life.
And who is the most recently deceased star depicted on one of those stamps? By my calculation it is the great Art Carney, as sewer worker Ed Norton, depicted with Jackie Gleason on The Honeymooners stamp. Carney died November 9, 2003. He just made it by one year! If he died one year later the rules would have prohibited his depiction. Lucky guy. Milton Berle who died March 27, 2002 was the next closest.
The Post Office will even mail the stamps to your home if you want to order them online. Only from the sound of things lately, pretty soon we may not be able to receive them on Saturdays. In that case, I’ll just watch some TV instead of eagerly awaiting my stamps. Oh man, I just had this flashback memory…I actually used to collect stamps when I was a boy. My Aunt Virginia would sometimes send me some. Hm. I think I still have them in a draw at my parent’s house. Well well. I guess stamp-collecting is for cool people after all.
(Sources: USPS.com; and wikipedia.com)
Wkozy's Blog 